Rachel's Growing Up..

Last week, I was feeling extremely tired, and a bit of depressed. I guessed it was mainly due to work stress. I think it was sometime last Tues / Wed, I was feeling extremely lousy. Came back home, had dinner downstairs and as usual, I went back home first, leaving Rachel and Jon with my mum, to play with their friends downstairs.

Went Rachel came back home around 10+pm, after she had her bath, she went about to do her own writings and drawings. I called her but she just replied 'yes?' I told her, "Today Mummy feel very sad." Immediately, she dropped what she was doing, gave me her full attention, came over and sit on my lap and started asking why I was feeling sad. Is it because of my boss? Or what?

I told her, don't know leh. Maybe no one love me? Maybe it's my work lor. So many things to do and I'm so tired. So I was feeling sad lor. She immediately hugged and patted me and told me: "Mummy, I love you a lot. You don't be sad okay?" I was touched by her small gestures and wow.. of course, my heart felt so warm and happy. After a while, I told her to get ready to sleep as she has got school the next day. In our room, after I switched off the lights, she came over to me again, gave me a big kiss and hug and told me to sleep early. I felt like a small kid!

The next day after work, I went to the coffeeshop to join them and also to have my dinner. Rachel saw me, ran towards me with her sticky hands. I asked her what she wanted to do? Her hands were so sticky and she better don't touch me. She replied : "I want to hug you mah. Yesterday you feel sad, so today I want to give you a big hug again." I was so touched and yet ashamed as I told her not to touch me with her sticky hands earlier. I told her it's okay, later she go home, after she bathe then give me her big hug. Luckily she was okay with it.

Even when I went out partying with my friends last Friday, she called me around 11+pm saying that she wanted me to go home earlier. Told her will go back soon. She said okay and hang up. After she hang up, she told my mum that she's going to sleep in the living room and wait for me. So when I came back home at almost 1am, I saw her sleeping alone in the living room, I knew she was waiting for me. Felt a bit guilty for staying out late.

I realised that Rachel has indeed matured a lot. Learning to love and care. What more can I complain about her?? Well.. maybe still her single eyelid eyes.. :P

Getting very tired and stressful at work... :(

Recently I have been feeling very very tired especially after work.. almost like brain dead by 5.30pm. After work, at times I still got to meet the clients to get some forms signed and by the time I reached home it's almost 9-ish pm. Tired man!


Met one of my friends after work yesterday for dinner. She was actually so stressed up with her work that she had got mild depression. Luckily, she has already resigned from that job. My God! I think I better start to think of ways to de-stress myself before I get myself in the same situation as her. Those who knows me long enough will know that I used to go partying, drinking almost like 3-4 days a week, to de-stress myself. But at the current situation.. with a kid and working so late, I don't seems to have that privilege again. Sigh!


Sometimes, my boss will call or sms me at night or weekends to leave instructions for things to be done etc. Calling me once he think of something, and not accumulating a list of things before calling me. Sigh! Sometimes, I will get as many as 10 calls from him within 2 hrs. In the office, already got piles and piles of work to be done. Sigh..


How I envy my dear friend, Eve... SAHM, playing with baby, relaxing herself.. Oh! How I miss my confinement days... sob..sob.. Well, if I can find a good man, I don't mind being a SAHM!! :P But then again, I bet I won't be able to be one that stay at home for long..

So, what do I really want???? I myself at this moment also don't know. Maybe time to plan another break... to get away from my stressful work.